Sunday 6 November 2016

My Jar of Hearts

There are a few things about myself, which I talk about openly, and this is one of them:

I have a genuine fear of being forgotten, and have no memory of myself left. In fact, that's why I write my book, and this blog (although tbh, the blog needs to be updated far more often than it has been.) That, one day we become a name, passed casually in the future, as if we are some obscure figure.

But today, things changed.
Normally I refrain from mentioning people by name, but today I refrain from such restraint.

Today was my farewell, in the BIF club. Since this post is being written entirely for the eyes of the people who were there today, I feel like it would be remiss to introduce our club at this interval of time.

You know a farewell is good, when at the end of it, you momentarily forget the food, and all you can remember was the experience. :)

I joined BIF in my second year, and during a time when I wasnt in a good place, in all honesty. The depression had begun, and I was none the wiser about both that, and my steadily deteriorating medical condition. Nonetheless, I joined with great fervor and dove in, so to speak.

This club has been a part of the greater part of two years, and in that time I have grown a lot as a person, experienced so much, and made a tonne of new friends. As sentimental as that may be, it rings true nonetheless.

I have now seen the rise of three Boards in this club, been a part of one of them, and will probably be seeing the rise of a 4th as well. The passing of my own board was witnessed with some trepidation, with me thinking, "Can they really handle it? It's not as easy as it looks!"
But they did. And how! They've exceeded all expectations which I had, and then some more. The Alphas became the board, and the Betas became the Alphas. The club got stronger, and around GraVITas, it became well known. People knew what Becoming I meant.
All work, done by the current board, and the current BIF.

I have worked with the R&D department (hell, I founded it), in BIF, and through it, met and worked with some INCREDIBLE people! It was an experience which has been both harrowing at times, and honestly the most rewarding, and gratifying as well. It was something I was reluctant to give up, but i dismissed such thoughts with the advent of the new R&D.

I have worked with members of the Board, people who joined in the same year as me, and whom I've worked with closely for some time now. I will admit, I have not seen eye to eye with them on a lot of things, easily, but that doesnt mean I didnt like working with them overall. This farewell brought to the forefront something which I had not fully acknowledged: I would never work with these people again. I know that the board had been passed on to the next set, quite some time back, but the full impact of that wasnt felt till today.
To these people, I say Farewell, and best wishes for all your future endeavors.

So what happened in the farewell?
Uh...

(Insert mandatory flashback scene, filled with snippets from a crazy-filled 3 hours with some of the biggest, and most awesome, freaks I've had the pleasure of working with)

Now wasnt that fun?

Wait... Fun? We're leaving, and essentially this was stamping that into a finality, and we still had fun. I will admit, to my introvert part, it seemed odd, but then the farewell kicked it up a notch, and all misgivings fell into oblivion. Much appreciated people :)

So those were the seniors leaving. Leaving behind the third years, and second years.
What do I say about these people?

Yes, they're human, they make their mistakes, they are hot blooded and sometimes react when they shouldnt, and other times dont do anything when they should.
They are humans. But they are incredible.
Having been here for 2 years now, I have personally seen everyone who has worked with us, and I am legitimately glad to have worked with these people. I mention the length of my stay here for two reasons. Firstly, the amount of time and effort I have put into this club is in no means, any small amount. Secondly, I feel like they are going to take the club to an extent which even I havent seen in 2 years here. Kudos to them :D

But that makes them amazing. Know why they're incredible?

Remember I mentioned what my greatest fear was? And then I mentioned that a farewell must be good if you forget about the food and remember the experience.

At the end of the farewell, we got a small plastic jar, with messages written by the people we've worked with, interacted with, and bossed around :P
Reading those messages genuinely made me happy, and for a moment made me forget my neurosis, gave me hope for the club and its future.

I AM slightly annoyed though, with two things:
The major thing people took away with working with me was that I am crazy, hyperactive, and that I dislike my actual name :P
And, when I said "Hang on... What happened to the Rapid Fire round for the REST of the Board?" translated to "Lets all get together and Roast Ryan." (Although, The roast was good :P )

Guys! Its been an AMAZING 2 years! Yes, There have been moments (quite a few) where I have considered doing something violent over something stupid, but there have been FAR more moments where I have been happy in this club, proud of you all, and generally thankful that I got to be a part of this club.


Love you all.
Cherishing every memory.
Stay awesome,
be crazy,
dont let anyone tell you that you cant be epic.
Signing out (For now),
Ex Board Member,
One of the ORIGINAL Alphas (the others left)
Head Honcho of BIF :P
Ex RND Head,
Badass Supreme

Narayanan Mohan
(Ryan)

Will miss you freaks like you wouldnt believe.


PS. The song from today, which I was to name?
Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy
Why?
We both like it, and its an Awesome (if weird) song. Deal with it :P