My Jar of Hearts

There are a few things about myself, which I talk about openly, and this is one of them:

I have a genuine fear of being forgotten, and have no memory of myself left. In fact, that's why I write my book, and this blog (although tbh, the blog needs to be updated far more often than it has been.) That, one day we become a name, passed casually in the future, as if we are some obscure figure.

But today, things changed.
Normally I refrain from mentioning people by name, but today I refrain from such restraint.

Today was my farewell, in the BIF club. Since this post is being written entirely for the eyes of the people who were there today, I feel like it would be remiss to introduce our club at this interval of time.

You know a farewell is good, when at the end of it, you momentarily forget the food, and all you can remember was the experience. :)

I joined BIF in my second year, and during a time when I wasnt in a good place, in all honesty. The depression had begun, and I was none the wiser about both that, and my steadily deteriorating medical condition. Nonetheless, I joined with great fervor and dove in, so to speak.

This club has been a part of the greater part of two years, and in that time I have grown a lot as a person, experienced so much, and made a tonne of new friends. As sentimental as that may be, it rings true nonetheless.

I have now seen the rise of three Boards in this club, been a part of one of them, and will probably be seeing the rise of a 4th as well. The passing of my own board was witnessed with some trepidation, with me thinking, "Can they really handle it? It's not as easy as it looks!"
But they did. And how! They've exceeded all expectations which I had, and then some more. The Alphas became the board, and the Betas became the Alphas. The club got stronger, and around GraVITas, it became well known. People knew what Becoming I meant.
All work, done by the current board, and the current BIF.

I have worked with the R&D department (hell, I founded it), in BIF, and through it, met and worked with some INCREDIBLE people! It was an experience which has been both harrowing at times, and honestly the most rewarding, and gratifying as well. It was something I was reluctant to give up, but i dismissed such thoughts with the advent of the new R&D.

I have worked with members of the Board, people who joined in the same year as me, and whom I've worked with closely for some time now. I will admit, I have not seen eye to eye with them on a lot of things, easily, but that doesnt mean I didnt like working with them overall. This farewell brought to the forefront something which I had not fully acknowledged: I would never work with these people again. I know that the board had been passed on to the next set, quite some time back, but the full impact of that wasnt felt till today.
To these people, I say Farewell, and best wishes for all your future endeavors.

So what happened in the farewell?
Uh...

(Insert mandatory flashback scene, filled with snippets from a crazy-filled 3 hours with some of the biggest, and most awesome, freaks I've had the pleasure of working with)

Now wasnt that fun?

Wait... Fun? We're leaving, and essentially this was stamping that into a finality, and we still had fun. I will admit, to my introvert part, it seemed odd, but then the farewell kicked it up a notch, and all misgivings fell into oblivion. Much appreciated people :)

So those were the seniors leaving. Leaving behind the third years, and second years.
What do I say about these people?

Yes, they're human, they make their mistakes, they are hot blooded and sometimes react when they shouldnt, and other times dont do anything when they should.
They are humans. But they are incredible.
Having been here for 2 years now, I have personally seen everyone who has worked with us, and I am legitimately glad to have worked with these people. I mention the length of my stay here for two reasons. Firstly, the amount of time and effort I have put into this club is in no means, any small amount. Secondly, I feel like they are going to take the club to an extent which even I havent seen in 2 years here. Kudos to them :D

But that makes them amazing. Know why they're incredible?

Remember I mentioned what my greatest fear was? And then I mentioned that a farewell must be good if you forget about the food and remember the experience.

At the end of the farewell, we got a small plastic jar, with messages written by the people we've worked with, interacted with, and bossed around :P
Reading those messages genuinely made me happy, and for a moment made me forget my neurosis, gave me hope for the club and its future.

I AM slightly annoyed though, with two things:
The major thing people took away with working with me was that I am crazy, hyperactive, and that I dislike my actual name :P
And, when I said "Hang on... What happened to the Rapid Fire round for the REST of the Board?" translated to "Lets all get together and Roast Ryan." (Although, The roast was good :P )

Guys! Its been an AMAZING 2 years! Yes, There have been moments (quite a few) where I have considered doing something violent over something stupid, but there have been FAR more moments where I have been happy in this club, proud of you all, and generally thankful that I got to be a part of this club.


Love you all.
Cherishing every memory.
Stay awesome,
be crazy,
dont let anyone tell you that you cant be epic.
Signing out (For now),
Ex Board Member,
One of the ORIGINAL Alphas (the others left)
Head Honcho of BIF :P
Ex RND Head,
Badass Supreme

Narayanan Mohan
(Ryan)

Will miss you freaks like you wouldnt believe.


PS. The song from today, which I was to name?
Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy
Why?
We both like it, and its an Awesome (if weird) song. Deal with it :P

Recap #1

I've decided to make this a regular section, be it weekly or otherwise. I will be posting standalone stuff as well at a later date, depending on how things go. 

So this week, my exams ended! It (hopefully) went well, and now I'm back home. 

Yes, I escaped my college. 

Before I came home though, I made a *small* detour, and went to Chennai. 

I finally managed to see some of my friends, whom I hadnt seen in two years! If you're reading this and have some friends who are really important to you, but you havent seen or met in a long time, I implore you that you go and send them a message or call them or something, letting them know you miss them.

Unless you parted ways in a very awkward manner or something went wrong, or exploded, or someone died... In which case, please ignore the above message. 

Aaaannnyyyy way...

SO I met my lovely bunch of freaks whom I hadnt seen in 2 years, and then there were three of them who missed the meet due to unavoidable reasons. (Guys, I forgive you.)

It was really really good to meet these people after so long. It was refreshing when I met the people who were as equally weird as I am. 

I would post a picture here, but I dont know if the others would be alright with their pics on a blog. 

It was fun!

and for once, a trip to Chennai did NOT result in some form of horrible injury or accident. XP (Yeah, they tend to happen a lot when I came to that city...)

There was this plan of going for lunch and then going for a movie. It got changed last minute, for the better, and also cos we couldnt find any tickets for Captain America Civil War, or X Men Apocalypse. 
Lunch, followed by random shenanigans, followed by watching Deer butt heads and eat bananas, was in all honesty, one of the better trips this city I've had ever.

That was one of the major things that happened this week. Another major thing was that I came home!!

Now, for most, if not all, of you who dont know, I have this tiny bundle of madness, cuteness and all things crazy at home called Joey. Now, he isnt 100% aware that hes a dog, and doesnt like being told that he is one either. 

How many of you remember reading Calvin and Hobbes? Or watching the Flintstones? or even the Jetsons.

They reach home, and within seconds a large flying animal comes and knocks you down and starts licking you.

This didnt happen to me. 

Mostly cos I came home at 1:30 in the morning, and practically everyone was sleepy, sleep deprived, annoyed, annoying (*cough* uncle *cough*), and above all, needing a lot of sleep, some quiet and some rest. Yes, I repeated a lot of things there, but it was for emphasis, and not cos I dont speak English.  :P So calm. 

Instead what I got was this bleary eyed dog (I think hes small ish, but everyone else says that hes massive! Then again, he probably does look massive when hes chasing them at full speed. I wouldnt know. I would tackle him and tickle him instead of running.), who was happy to see my uncle and me (who also happened to accompany me from the college, to back home. A big thank you to him, for taking the time and effort to be so helpful. :) ).

Unfortunately, he was also ridiculously sleepy as hell and couldnt do much.

Then again, so were all the residents of the house.
We just said "I will see you in the morning, and so help whoever wakes me up."

Okay... maybe I said that, not the others.

I dont like being woken up when I dont have to be, in my defense. And Classes were over so.....

Day 1 of the holidays (counting them from the time I got home, and not from when I left) began with... breakfast.

OH food! 
Before I forget, I wanna mention some names, and a particular instance.

I have this aunt who lives in Chennai, and the mess food in the college hostel, in my opinion, is bad enough that there are days when I choose to not eat for fear of my life.

How these things are connected?

Ah...

For those of you who know what this is, you're probably drooling at this stage.

For everyone else, this is called the "Kancheepuram Idli"

I dont want to explain what it is, or what its origins are, or what makes it different from all other idlis.

No, I want you to eat this magnificent piece of food.

Why?

Remember how I mentioned that I was in the mess, and I thought it was.... well, not something I would regret missing now and again, on a semi regular basis, because of taste related reasons and so on.

At the end of a long semester like this, and not actually having much proper food (not the fast kind people), in the ride back to Chennai, my uncle pulls out a container with this inside it, and covered... nay, lathered in Hot Chilies powder and oil (I know what its called in Tamil, but I cannot spell it to save my life. Excuse mine mistake.)

Best part?

The idlis have been soaking in this for nearly three hours, and this all has been prepared by my Aunt, in Chennai.

So when I took one piece (I wasnt hungry at this stage. I just wanted to get the hell out of my college and I had a one track mind on this. With this? of this...? Anyway, THAT was on my mind more than anything else.)

and this is what happened in my head:

"Okay, so Im slightly hungry. Lets take one piece. My aunt made this, it would be rude to not eat this."

"....."

"......."

"... more...." 

I finished that container like how a professional thief from the movies empties a safe. If that offends you because you are that thief, a safe owner, or just a safe, I dont care. The food was that good....!!

I swear to god, I almost went

"I now renounce the ways of the western world! Give me more of this!"

and I used to HATE eating South Indian food because of how often I got it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

and I LOVE my western food. 

Makes you think two things:

1) How bad must the mess food have been?

2) How good would this kancheepuram Idli have been?

Answer: A modulus value of Infinity.

I instantly got the cravings for eating proper, authentic, south Indian food for the next few days, and I indulged that craving like a kid in a candy store, with his parents saying "go nuts".
I URGE YOU ALL TO TRY THIS SOMEHOW OR THE OTHER!!

So coming back to the story at hand.

Day 1:

Woke up to Breakfast, and my body feeling like hell. Go figure, I was messed up when I went to sleep.

Days 1-5 were pretty much routine. Give your clothes for washing, take the dog for a walk, apply for internships, and so on. Normal stuff.

But I was home. :) 

And home is where the WiFi is free, quick to connect, and doesnt shut off at 12:30 AM. 

among other things.

I had this huuuugggeeee plan of trying to catch up on episodes and books and what not. 

Yeah... that didnt work out.

But I DID manage to see one episode:

The Season Finale of The Flash.

Holy Mother of GOD. Do I have a lot to say about this episode. I WILL be making a review of this later. 

But just wow. 

I seriously havent gotten to any of the newer episodes or something since I've gotten home, but that WILL change soon. :)

I seem to have forgotten what all else has happened this week... I should make notes next time I write a blog post. :P 

I have started playing Table Tennis, a feat which I previously thought was impossible!

And It was awesome! Is Awesome. 

Before I end this, ever so lamely, I wanna show you guys something.

Meet Joey! :D

And thats me holding him.

Hes still unaware that he is a dog, and hes one of the biggest morons (I use that word as a term of endearment. Do not get PETA on my case) I know. :)

As with my last blog post  A few people I wanna mention: 

Myself (HELLO!)
A friend most Sweet (She missed the meeting up in Chennai, but no one holds this against her.)

A friend most cranky (She was there for the meeting! And this is like an old code name from school)

A friend most racist (Also there, also a code name)

A friend who is really really ridiculously tall. God damn man, it took me by surprise after two years.

A friend who spaced (I will come up with a better nickname for the next one. Sorry dear :/ )
A friend most social (We did this "Six Degrees" Thing while we were in IIT - M, and found out that you were the common point as to how most of us met.)
A friend kinda kidnapped (Thats the reason she couldnt come for Chennai)
My Family! My uncle, my mom, my Aunt, my dad, and my Dog-who-thinks-hes-my-brother. All of you, a big shout out to you lot!

Again, If I have missed out your name on this post, I WILL include you in the next ones as and when things go on. :) 

In the mean time.
to quote the 12th Doctor:

"Dont be lasagna"

And Listen to "Monsters" by Matchbook Romance. 

Hello!

Okay, so this is just the beginning of my blog, and this is just me telling you what all I'll be posting on my blog, and to say Hello! :D

So basic introductions:

My name is Ryan, and I am the owner of this blog.

I aspire to be a proper writer, and need to practice a lot for that to happen, so in part, this is me doing just that: practicing. 

I will be writing reviews of a lot of things. 

That includes things like 

• TV show episodes (The Flash, Lucifer, and so on usually. Not a game of thrones fan tbh)
• Movies (At the time of this blog, the latest movie I had seen was...... I dont even remember it... yikes)
• Books
• Current news around the world
• Some software even (yes.. trying to get into the tech side of things.)

All in some haphazard order of things, and with random snippets of my story being thrown in there for non comic effect, so that you guys can tell me what you think. :) 

A few people I wanna mention:

Myself (Again, HELLO!)
A friend most Sweet (who actually in part helped come up with the name of this blog)

A friend who kinda fell in (who also in part helped come up with this blog)

and a few others :) (who will be mentioned in future posts and all as I keep writing. Dont kill me guys....)